The grass isn't always greener

Gostle said, ‘"Compare yourself only to your previous self". However in today’s society, that’s nigh on impossible to do. We’re constantly bombarded with images of better, stronger, richer, more accomplished and more exciting through the media and on our phones. 

I think we can all relate to falling down a scrolling hole, and coming out thinking why can’t I have a cleaner, bigger house? Why can’t I be lying on a beach in Dubai? Why can’t I have a wardrobe/family/kitchen like that? That crushing sense of - what I have is not enough. Others have it better than me and it’s not fair. Even though, as intelligent beings, we know what we’re seeing is probably not reality, just a modified and filtered snapshot of reality, that moment of comparison can really gobble up our joy. 

Then we look around at our peers. Whatever life stage you’re currently at, I’m sure there are certain expectations. Maybe friends are buying their first home, having children, travelling, or getting better jobs than you. It can be easy to get caught up in a comparison spiral at any life stage. Why do they have it and I don’t? 

I’m a big believer in gratitude, but gratitude isn’t always easy. Although it’s important to always strive to be grateful for what we have, these comparison triggers that happen around us are real, and we can be thrust into feeling ungrateful pretty quickly. It can really help to remember that life is subjective, we see what we want to see. If we want to move to a bigger house, chances are we’ll compare ourselves to friends with bigger houses, we’ll project our own sense of lack onto them and feel inadequate. 

Yet the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of that white picket fence. Others may be making it look easy, but that’s just the part we’re seeing. The truth is we never, ever know what’s going on for someone else. We have no idea of the struggles that others face behind closed doors, so it may be helpful to remember that next time you get caught in a comparison spiral. Look instead at how far you’ve come personally in your journey, what have you achieved and what steps can you put in place to reach your goals? Much as the media would like us to believe it, there is in fact no ‘right’ way to do it. Take your time, go at your own pace, get clear on what you want and take it one step at a time.